Marrying Outside Your Own Culture

You could, if so inclined, substitute the words Religion, Race, Language, etc. for the word Culture in the title above. Any of them might be appropriate, depending upon your own culture, religion, race, language.

The word 'culture' is a bit more all-inclusive than the others, however, so we'll stick with that. So, should you marry outside your own culture? The short answer is no. The longer answer is maybe. That is, you should not marry outside your culture unless you willing to make many changes, some significant sacrifices, and do a lot of work to make a go of it.

What is Culture?

In general terms from my own experience, culture in the context of marriage includes all those things that either make you very similar to or very different from another person. These can be language, personal habits, education level, nationality, race, and on and on.

Why are those differences or similarities important? At it's most basic, any relationship is based on communication. With no shared or common language, you're off to a poor start. Even if you can communicate in words, a personal vision of the world is based on experiences. A person from another country will have had very different personal experiences. And those experiences are shaped by beliefs (religion), social status, education, and family relationships.

We can see within the United States that, even though we mostly speak the same language, there can be significant cultural differences based generally on the part of the country you're from. Magnify those differences exponentially when talking about marrying a foreigner, and more so when they speak a different language.

Time can be a great equalizer

If, despite the odds against it, you meet the one you want to spend your life with and that person lives in another country, you still have a lot of work to do. 

First is deciding where you want to live. I won't go into this too much but suffice it to say that one of you is probably going to have to make some very substantial sacrifices. These will likely include moving away from family and from virtually everything one takes for granted in their daily life.

Even if the decision of where to live seems easy at first, there will be constant reminders of the extreme difficulty one of you will have in adapting. Don't forget, however, that both of you will be required to adapt. And it will not be easy. It will require a daily recommitment to your relationship and it's success.

Assuming all goes relatively smoothly, time will eventually become your ally as the non-native part of your pair acclimates to their new life and surroundings. Most important is that you BOTH give yourselves time to get to this point.